Posted by Sid Smith on Jan 16, 2006 - This post is archived and may no longer be relevant

Richard Palmer-James got in touch to confirm that the mystery track recently mentioned in Robert's diary was called Guts On My Side.  The track as far as anyone can remember was only performed once.  Richard, who dictated the lyrics to what he describes as an appalled secretary the at EG in London goes:

Sweet meat boogie / Take me to an eating meeting
Breath comes heavy / Rolling back the plastic sheeting

  Gotta get our guts on our side
  Gonna take a table and ride
  Crunching with the crabs de mornay
  Shovel up the mussel sooflay

Keep things tidy / Scrape the sausage off the ceiling
Ten ton creepers / Hauling off potato peelings

  Gonna bend the runcible spoon
  Pulverise the Great Macaroon
  Smuggle in the Kweechie Lorraine
  Gurgitate the hash once againe

Mint tea mother / Keep me feeling bright and happy
Avacados / Inside must be soft and pappy

  Drop and oyster straight from the can
  Fumble with the passion fruit flan
  Gotta find some room for a roll
  Penetrate the toad in the hole

Sheeps head salad / Sending off the indigestion
Take no notice / Slimmers making foul suggestions

  Camembare the cucumber cream
  Crucify the galloping bean
  Fingers getting hot in the stew
  Dip 'em in the mushroom fondew

  Improvise a lobster surpreeze
  Bring the jellied eels to their knees
  Sip a glass of seventy-one
  Clarrit Chatto Newts de Verdun

Of the song Richard comments "John actually sings some of these lines on the recording. It's a pretty good rock song, until you hear the words."

David Cross writes about the track on his diary today as well.  Check out David's site here.